went to grandma's house today..
talked to my cousin for 5 hours straight..
we really can click man!
talking to him is kinda enjoyable..
it's like we can relate to each other..
we are indeed blood related cousins..
hahaa.
anyway, thanks for giving me advice on you-know-what.
my indecisive nature is acting up again!
oh man..
i practically spent the entire day trying to come up with a decision!
i cant believe i spent ONE WHOLE DAY on this!
omg omg omg.
how how how?
can someone help me make a decision?
can someone teach me how to cure indecisiveness?

hmm..
actually i did a little research on this..

Popular Strategic Methods:

Recourse to someone or even something else: Examples are astrology (not astronomy which is a science), palm readings, looking up at stars, dialing 1-900 psychic friends, telepathy, telekinesis, the aura, crystals, dreams, colors, Feng Shui, numerology, fortune-tellers, etc. Physiognomy is any judgment about a person's character based on external appearance. Examples of physiognomy are: reflexology (your feet know), iridology (your eyes know). Physiognomy dates back to Aristotle.

For example, in contrast to astrology, one must accept the fact that success is not due to a fortuitous concourse of stars at our birth, but due to a steady trail of sparks from the grindstones of hard work, determination, good planning, and perseverance. When it comes to the future, there are three kinds of people: those who let it happen, those who make it happen, and those who wonder what happened.

In all these popular avoidance strategies, you are better off taking advice from Kermit the Frog. A New York City detective said, "I've gone into hundreds of fortune-tellers, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest them." Fortune befriends the bold who make good decisions.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself.

False hopes: Hoping for something to happen over which we have no control over its outcome. For example, hoping your airplane lands safely while you are just a passenger and not the pilot of the plane. False hope and fear are two sides of the same coin. We can promise according to our hopes that are under our control only (and have some degree of certainty on its outcome), however, we avoid making decisions according to our fears of the outcomes.

Do not think about it: The decision-makers who are waiting for something to turn up, might start with their shirt sleeves. You can either take action, or you can hang back and hope for a miracle. Miracles are great, but they are so unpredictable. Doing nothing about a problem on hand, will certainly get out of control and devour other elements of your business too. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.

Do anchoring: Give disproportional weights to some information instead of waiting as long as possible, to have all the information.

Sunk-cost conscious: Repeat the same decision because "you have invested so much in this approach (or your current job) that you cannot abandon it or make another decision (or look for a better position)."

Failure to reflect on the problem: Reflection before action is often resisted by some managers. They often feel that reflection takes too much time, requires too much work, or they do not know much about decision problem/opportunity. Remember that: A man should always be already booted to take his journey.

Look for confirming-evidence: Seek out the information to support an existing preselection and discount opposing ones. To put what you like against what you dislike is the hanky-panky of the mind.

Pray for a miracle: Whatever we pray for, we pray for a miracle. Every prayer reduces itself to this: "Great God, grant that twice two be not four." A miracle is an event described by those to whom it was told by men who did not see it. As Emerson said, "As men's prayers are a disease of the will, so are their creeds a disease of the intellect."

The worse things get,
the harder people pray,
the worse things get.

Be over-confident: This makes you optimistic and then make high risk decisions. As Henri Poincare said, "Doubt everything or believe everything: these are two equally convenient strategies. With either, we dispense with the need to think for ourselves."

Be too prudent: Be over curious long enough to delay the decision. If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over what you are going to decide. Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the opportunities, by fearing to make our decision. Indecision is debilitating; it feeds upon itself; it is, one might almost say, habit-forming. Not only that, but it is contagious; it transmits itself to others who depend on you.

Misrepresentation: Use argument that "seems" scientific. For example, compute and use the average salary as a typical representative of salary rather than the median.

Pass the buck: Pass off responsibility of making the decision to someone else. Do not make decisions by yourself. Bring in someone to blame if things go wrong. For example, for life's problems some may marry to constantly blame their spouse because it is easier than taking responsibility. Remember that it takes two to tango.

Have second thoughts: Second thoughts have aborted more useful decisions than all the difficult circumstances, overwhelming obstacles, and dangerous detours fate ever could throw at you. Undermining your authenticity by succumbing to someone else's second thoughts is a sinister, subtle, and seductive form of self-abuse.

Succumb to failure: Believe that the choices you will make are predestined and you are bound to fail (one gets used to failure) versus the result of hard work and thought.

Set up a committee: To make decisions, try to set up a committee not necessarily consisting of experts. So if everything goes well, every member is proud of such a decision. But if everything goes wrong, nobody is responsible. Every member would say, "It was not I; it was the committee's decision. You see, we couldn't agree, therefore we voted". Put a face to a faceless group, call it "the committee." A committee is an animal with four back legs. The committee's members, who are wishing that just to vote in "either/or" fashion are those who are not able to contribute to the decision-making process, therefore shouldn't be trusted with an important decision. A group decision support system could be a technologically advanced version of this strategy. Of course setting up a committee could be done correctly with the proper experts. However, my experience has shown that committees are used more to displace blame and accountability. I see no good in having group decision makers. Let one person be the decision maker; let one person be responsible and accountable. A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled. The greatest things are often accomplished by individual people, not by committees.
What does it mean to say that committee might have a responsibility? Committee cannot have a responsibility any more than the business can. The only entities that can have responsibilities are people.

False decentralization:Decentralization could take place when an authoritative manager delegates accountability to a new "director of…" for every new decision-making problem, but not delegating any authority.

Failure to define the problem: This certainly lends to a wrong solution. Not knowing the problem, any solution is wrong. If you know the problem then, your solution might be good.

Common Sense-based decisions: If you start making decisions on the basis of conventional wisdom or chatter in the hall, generally speaking, you will make the wrong decision. What is called common sense is almost always uncommon.

Failure to understand the problem: This is caused, among others, by subjectivity, irrational analysis, lateness or procrastination, lack of sensitivity, and lack of focus.

Complexity is confusing to the decision maker: Simplify and even change the problem to something which you have a strategic solution for (e.g. this is committed by many OR/MS/DS/SS analysts when they change the model to fit their strategic solution algorithm).

Rationalization to limit the course of actions: This strategy is very popular. Stack the cards to make one alternative clearly right and remove all risk.

Reasoning by analogy: Analogies are not made for proof.

Information: Information gathered is not valid. Decisions are often made first and information sought to support the solution, or much of the information gathered is irrelevant to the decision-making.

False alternative: It attempts to box the decision-maker into a corner from which there is no escape except to accept the alternative. "If you are against abortion, you must work for a law against it." This is an example of false alternative, because you may think that a law against it is even worse.

Decision is only symbolic: One will fight hard for a policy and then be indifferent to its implementation.

The Decision maker has obligations: Sometimes decision makers act against integrity to meet some critical personal obligations.

Toe the line: When faced with questions such as "What should I do?", "How should I live?", etc., you may "Toe the line", that is, follow the group, don't disagree and do what others are doing in your profession as men in uniform (i.e., one form) do.

Best of all, decline responsibility: Some shrugged their shoulders as if to shake off whatever chips of responsibility might have lodged there. Stagnate or do nothing is another possible one. Some people do this in belief that the right strategic solution will eventually become obvious. Decline all responsibility, or better still, do nothing; i.e., status quoism. However, "not to decide is to decide". A business manager makes decisions. Whether they are right or wrong, they get made, and they are clear. A weak manager procrastinates and gives false signals, leaving subordinates to charge off in different directions. To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. The choice not to choose is the choice to remain unconscious and, therefore, to wield power irresponsibly.

Post-decision anxieties: The more highly desirable the alternatives that must be rejected and the faster the decision must be made, the greater are these anxieties (also known as cognitive dissonance). Most people accentuate the positive in their decision and deny or ignore the positive aspect of the rejected alternatives.

Misattribution of causes: Attribute your own success to your skills and hard work and your failures to unavoidable external forces. Do the opposite for other people's success and failure.

Your anxiety is directly proportional to your mental modeling process of reality, for you bring on yourself unlimited fears and unrealistic desires. Decision-making involves a series of steps. The mental modeling process begins with the formation of goals and proceeds to the identification of problems and alternative courses of action. It does not end until well after the decision or choice is actually made and the post decision anxieties have been experienced. Decision-making, however, is one management function that is important at all points in the process of management.

alright.. i am definitely going out of point..
how how how?

anyway, i feel like criticizing someone today.
i really don't like this bunch of childish idiots man.
who do they think they are?
especially this particular guy who blogs like he is writing some literature essay.
come to think of it, i better not downgrade myself to talk about them.
they are not even worth mentioning.
don't want to pollute my blog.
suckers.

found this picture on a certain website, it's kinda exaggerating,
but it explains how i feel! hahaa.


In the Misery of Indecisiveness
   

i am losing my sleep,
i am losing my focus,
i smile and laugh with my friends,
i wake up with this horrible feeling in my chest,
and i deleted every single thing that reminds me of you..

hard as i try i just cant quit!
did someone cast a spell on me?
is this enough?

michelle, have you had enough?
how long has it been?
how long more do you wanna continue hurting yourself?

caring for someone who doesn't give a fuck wasn't as easy as i thought it was..
i feel really frustrated, but i don't know how or where to express it..
even when i blog i feel so darn restricted..
i guess i am just not as strong as i thought i was..
some ppl think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go..
i probably need to learn how to love myself more before loving someone else..
that's it!
this is gonna be the last time i ever talk about this..

it's time to move on..
it's time to move on..
it's time to move on..
it's time to move on..
it's time to move on..
it's time to move on..

look at me..
i am beginning to sound ridiculous..

thanks for showing me that you didn't care..
it really meant alot to me..
it made me wake up..
everything is much clearer now..

i genuinely wish you and your whoever-it-is happiness,
because i am off to look for my own..
good bye.
bye forever..



if you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were

i am feeling extremely emotional now..
i keep thinking about the same thing over and over again..
i am wasting so much time..
why does it take so long to recover?
i am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
it's not to the extent that i will cry, but i just feel very uncomfortable the whole day..
i sleep at 5++am everyday and it feels horrible..
every time i wake up i feel so horrible..
well at least now i know i am not a heartless person!
i still have feelings!
isn't that amazing?
thank God for making me such a positive person..
alrights..
i am sure i will heal with time..
i am strong girl!
i dont need anyone..
i'll be fine!
i'll stay strong..